Sandals Grande Ocho Rios does deliver in some ways on the company's promise of a "Luxury Included Vacation". In other ways they're off the mark just a bit and could easily improve with some better attention to detail and better management. In the ways that mattered most to us, unfortunately, they fail miserably and frankly, are downright misleading in their promotional materials.
The Good (things that made me glad to be there):
 | Beautiful, well-maintained resort (at least the grounds are) |
| Generally very friendly staff |
| Our room (Plantation Honeymoon Villa with pool) was comfortable, yet not exactly "luxurious" |
| Transportation system within resort runs efficiently |
| Concierge-level check in and check out were a breeze |
| Plenty of bars |
| Good scuba program |
| Water sports were hassle-free and fun |
| Lots of pools with swim-up bars |
| Housekeeping turned our bed down twice a day, always made sure we had clean towels and washcloths and made swans and hearts out of towels and placed them on the bed every day |
The Bad (annoyances, but not deal breakers):
| Our cheap, wall-mounted bedroom air conditioner rattled so bad, I had to shove bottles of spa lotion in it to make it bearable enough to sleep |
| Our bedroom ceiling fan made so much grinding noise, we couldn't use it |
| Concierge was useless. We requested cranberry juice in our room two times and it took three days to get it. When I called to inquire which restaurants were open that evening, put on hold for five minutes. Shouldn't basic info like that be handy? |
| Kitchen was tacky and useless and just taking up space. Without pots, pans or silverware, how could I cook anyway? And after eating their food for a few days, boy did I feel the urge to cook! Sandals should tear out the entire old, cheesy kitchen and upgrade the rooms to a truly luxurious "honeymoon suite", like they promise before they have your money. I've had larger and nicer rooms at $150/night Radissons. Is it any wonder that very few of the 15 or so room categories have pictures of what you'll be getting? If I saw a picture of this pathetic kitchen before plunking down my money, I might have thought twice: |
| Fruit "juices" in fridge were imitation; water and sugar were the first two ingredients. Yes, I know, a bit nit-picky, but for a "luxury included" vacation, spending a few cents more on real orange juice would have been appreciated. Even the "continental breakfast" at your local $79/night Days Inn serves orange juice containing actual oranges. |
| Bathroom window has no glass, just wooden slats, which allows biting bugs to enter at night. For a company that has supposedly won a slew of environmental awards, wouldn't it be more "green" to conserve electricity by keeping the cool air in and the hot air out? |
| The pools were absolutely freezing. In a mystery of thermodynamics, they were actually colder than the ocean. We couldn't use our "private" pool more than once, as my heart rate and respiration plunged to dangerous levels after using it. |
Polar Bear simulated for comedic effect
|
As promised, the bars do have premium spirits. But, you have to request it.
If I didn't specifically ask for Smirnoff or Absolut, they gave me the same
vile swill that was in my room bar
|
The Ugly (things that I feel Sandals purposely mislead us about):
| Of the eight dinner restaurants, they closed at least two and sometimes three every night. They don't disclose that to you in their promotional materials. So, we really didn't have eight restaurants to choose from if 25-35% of them are closed every night. On one evening, some genius in Sandals management actually made the decision to close both Italian restaurants. I mean, why would you close two restaurants that serve the same cuisine, further limiting your guest's dining options? |
| Some of the restaurants close at 9:00 p.m. Why in the world would they
close this early when people are on vacation? Is Sandals staff here to serve
us or are we there to not inconvenience them? During our stay, the
majority of dinner traffic arrived between 8 and 8:30 p.m.. Considering two or
three restaurants close every night and a bunch of the remaining ones close
right as the dinner rush is arriving, this causes long waits at some of the
remaining restaurants that stay open "late". I don't consider 10:15 p.m.
"late", as most restaurants in my home area, South Florida, stay open until at
least 11:00 or later. So much for "dining on my time" as promised in
the Sandals catalog |
| If you see an activity or entertainer scheduled, take it with a grain of
salt. Twice, we waited over an hour for the scheduled Piano Bar Sing-Along,
only to be told there would be no singer that night. No worries 'mon, you're
on vacation! |
| The food was, well, to put it bluntly, absolutely horrendous. Poor quality
ingredients, bad food preparation, cooked food sitting on the stove off the
heat and on an island surrounded by miles of gorgeous ocean, FROZEN SEAFOOD! Really, I'm
not exaggerating. Check out my food page
for pictures and more details and you can decide for yourself if I'm being
overly fussy. Sandals' claims are downright lies and this is the main reason I
decided to share my disappointment with the world. |
| Meal portion sizes were pathetic. See my mussels "appetizer"
here. Yes, you can order more.
Considering how long it takes to receive your first order of food, you won't
get the second order before they close the restaurant at 9:00. |
| On page 37 of the Sandals catalog, we are promised an "in room bar stocked daily with premium brand spirits" . Do you recognize these brands of vodka, whiskey and gin? I didn't either. However, I did recognize the fact that Sandals was cutting corners and yet again, misrepresenting what's included in your "Luxury Included" vacation. |
| No restaurant menus in the room; they make you go down to the Manor House or Riviera Building to read the menus posted on the wall. It felt more like summer camp than a "luxury included" vacation. A nice touch (included at lesser resorts I've stayed at) would be to have menus in the rooms. Another nice touch (also good from a marketing standpoint) would be a Sandals TV Channel that showed which restaurants were closed that day as well as the scheduled activities for the evening. |
| Each restaurant only serves, at most, five entree selections. Some of the restaurants duplicate items as well. So, on any given night, considering 25-35% of the restaurants were closed, and some restaurants duplicated items, we essentially had 20-25 unique menu choices to choose from, less than one typical restaurant would offer at home. Yet, if you click on any of the restaurant "sample menus" on Sandals' web site, you are presented with numerous appetizers and at least eight different entrees, leading you to believe, while they may not be the exact menu choices, you will have an equivalent selection. Not so. Just more Sandals false advertising. |
| The food service staff, from kitchen managers, to cooks, to servers weren't trained properly. From their execution (or lack thereof), I doubt many would qualify to work in any American restaurant past the level of a Waffle House. Frankly, each and every restaurant manager should be immediately fired and replaced with an experienced professional. |
Conclusions:
If your main vacation goal is to relax on the beach, participate in a few water sports, you prefer an all-inclusive vacation even if you pay dearly for that convenience, you get excited at the thought of eating out at restaurants such as Applebees and TGI Fridays and can accept that the food at Sandals will be a notch below that, then you might enjoy Sandals Grande Ocho Rios.
If, on the other hand, you enjoy world class dining and expect Sandals' promises of such, then you might consider a different vacation.
