Why bother with all this? You obviously have a lot of spare time on your hands.

I always get a kick out of this comment, as it is usually made by some travel forum lurker with only enough spare time on their hands to make 378 forum postings.

For the record, I am a 41 year old guy living in South Florida since 1985. I'm originally from Long Island, NY and I own a legal services company that provides assistance to the public as well as several local law firms. I'm also a licensed mortgage broker, speech-writer for several local public officials and a part-time professional musician.

My fiancée is a 42 year old Realtor/Broker and originally from Toronto, Canada. She loves the beach, traveling, cruising on our wave runner and our extremely cute dog.

I bothered with this extremely detailed review for four reasons:

1. After reading hundreds of reviews on Tripadvisor, I found it hard to make up my mind. Some reviewers said the food was excellent, others said it was terrible. Some said their rooms were clean, others complained of mold and bugs. Who to believe? I would have appreciated a detailed and most importantly, balanced review prior to booking my vacation. Too often, I'd encounter optimistic pablum by some twit who prefaces each forum posting with "I've been to SGOR nineteen times and I love it!" or, on the flip side, a completely negative review written by someone with atrocious spelling and an obvious axe to grind.

2. As the owner of a successful business for over a decade in which most of my new clients are referred by past ones, I believe very strongly in truthful advertising and delivering what I promise. After staying at the Grande Ocho Rios, it is obvious to me that Sandals doesn't share my business ethics nor the dedication to deliver a quality product. Their slick, multimillion dollar advertising campaign promises luxury. Their print materials show food items, portions and quality that they refuse to deliver. To put it simply, they are liars and I resent being lied to.

3. I enjoy writing.

4. I needed to brush up on Microsoft Front Page and this was a good excuse to do it.

I thought the food was fine at Sandals. You must be a food snob.

If you enjoyed the food at SGOR, then congratulations! You are entitled to your opinion. Because I'm relatively mentally stable, I'm not going to personally attack you simply because we disagree. But I do strongly disagree with you. I would also like to spend a few hours cooking with you to show you how simple it is to make delicious, high quality food.

I will admit to being a "foodie", which to me, simply means I enjoy cooking and eating good food. I seek out restaurants that feature talented and creative chefs who use fresh, local ingredients and display an obvious passion for cooking. I grow my own herbs and vegetables, bake my own bread from scratch and plan what I'll cook for dinner based on what's fresh and inspires me at the market on the way home from work. I prefer mom and pop businesses over mega marts and I've been visiting the same fishmonger and butcher for almost twenty years.

Does this make me a food "snob", as some have alleged? I don't think so. I don't regularly eat fancy food prepared by chefs with big hats and served by white-gloved waiters. I know all the local, cheap "joints" in my town where I can get a great burger, authentic tacos served out of a bus and a killer chicken fried steak from my favorite diner.

To me, it's all about expectations. If I'm in the mood for a great steak, I'm not going to order one at Outback Steak House, Roadhouse or some other lousy American chain restaurant with $8/hr. teenage cooks. I know I'll only be disappointed. Instead, I'll order something that's hard to screw up, like chicken fingers. I won't expect world class cuisine and I'll be fine with my frozen chicken fingers and a cold beer.

But when I'm paying $600-$800 a day to a company that promises luxury and "restaurants that capture both the ambience and flavors of the world's great cultures prepared by internationally trained chefs from the finest restaurants around the globe", I expect food that is substantially better than those lousy American chain restaurants with $8/hr. teenage cooks. I didn't expect the steak at Sandals to be the prime beef I get here. Nor did I expect San Gennaro's to serve truly authentic Italian cuisine like here. But, at $600-$800 a day at a resort surrounded by miles of ocean, I expect fresh seafood instead of frozen fare I could get here.

Take a look at the description of the food at Breezes in the Bahamas. Modest isn't it? No grandiose claims of capturing ambience and flavors, internationally trained chefs and other BS written by marketing teams. Guess what? If the food they served at this resort were equal to what I was served at Sandals, I wouldn't make a web site to complain about it. Sure, I would still be disappointed, but, and this is the key, I wouldn't feel deceived. Breezes promises unlimited food, but they don't make it sound like it will be comparable to the Four Seasons. Sandals does. Plus, a comparable vacation at Breezes is $1,700 less. By the way, we haven't stayed at Breezes. However, we have stayed at Club Med, at one of their least luxurious destinations. On their web site, Club Med Sandpiper's description of their restaurants is the epitome of understatement, yet we can honestly say that the food was delicious, warm and prepared by obviously experienced chefs with quality ingredients. And guess what? They are honest enough to disclose that not every restaurant will be open all the time. This is something Sandals can learn from.

The bottom line is this: DON'T PROMISE WORLD CLASS FOOD AND THEN SERVE CRAP! STOP LYING, SANDALS!

Your expectations are too high. SGOR is the "cheapest" of the Sandals and you can't expect food like you would get at the Ritz.

That's the most absurd statement that I read on travel forums. Let me say this again.... Sandals' entire corporate image is based on luxury. Maybe Sandals should add a disclaimer to all their advertising:

Luxury Included Vacations*

*except at our cheaper resorts

However, for the record, I never expected food like the Ritz. I expected it to be somewhere between the best American chain restaurants and the Ritz. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly as good as the most mediocre American chain restaurant.

Also, as mentioned above, how can Club Med, at one of their least expensive resorts, manage to serve great food yet Sandals' can not?

You must be a very unhappy person indeed! Misery loves company! You aren't as classy as you think you are.

Putting aside the utter hypocrisy, meanness, and blatant self-projection, it is completely hilarious to me that some feel qualified to psychoanalyze others based on a travel review.

Lighten up people! This is simply my travel review. Just what gets these poor souls so worked up in a tizzy that they resort to unprovoked personal attacks? The level of detail of my review, evidently. I guess little things like details and facts really aggravate some people.

I couldn't ever imagine calling some reviewer names simply because they disagreed with me. But then again, that's me.

Ironically, these people never counter with any substantive retorts to my assertions. When I point out that Sandals doesn't disclose that they close two or three restaurants each evening, nobody attacks this, as it is factual. When I show a picture of Sandals' disgusting fajitas, nobody defends it. When I express my disappointment that Sandals plays silly menu games by blatantly lying about what you'll be served, no one counters.

Instead of debating some of the individual points I make, these people respond with some insipid, irrelevant blanket statement like

"Hey, you're on vacation. Just relax and have fun"

The fervent nature of some of these mean spirited attackers borders on the religious. It's more than a little creepy. Yet, maybe it explains why many nations find themselves in dire straights. The human race appears to have lost its' ability to engage in civil discourse. Facts have given way to name calling when the name callers lack the ability or motivation to make their point using logic and rhetoric in the good, old-fashioned Greek way .

I love to debate. I could spend hours in some European cafe sipping good wine, smoking too many cigarettes, munching on crusty bread and discussing politics, philosophy, food and the dangers of artificial turf.

Unfortunately, too many people simply dig their heels in and believe what they believe, facts be damned because it's easier.

OK, Mr. Know-It-All, have you traveled much?

When I was 16, I hitchhiked from Long Island, NY to Clearwater, FL and then to Venice Beach, CA. Since 1985, when I decided to leave the snow shoveling routine behind, most of my vacations have been within the State of Florida. As business owners, my fiancee and I often have to grab a long weekend here and there to get away from the grind, so a three hour drive allows us more down time than spending half a day in an airport on the front and back of our vacation.

Plus, we are fortunate to be within driving distance from the Florida Keys, Miami and South Beach, Ft. Lauderdale, Palm Beach, Orlando, Daytona Beach and a bunch of small, "old Florida" towns chock full of romantic bed and breakfasts.

We generally prefer bed and breakfasts and small, mom and pop inns to large hotel chains. These small properties provide a more romantic setting, peace and quiet and better attention to detail than the mega chain hotels. Considering they cost the same or only a few bucks more, they are a travel bargain.

Our trip to Sandals Grande Ocho Rios was my first trip to the Caribbean. I appreciated the fact that we had a short flight from Miami airport and found the country to be beautiful and the people to be very friendly. Yet, I have to admit that the sight of tin shacks and poverty just steps from the gorgeous ocean was somewhat unsettling.

My dream is to travel to each region of Italy, sampling the authentic cuisine of each region, prepared by grandmothers who use fresh ingredients that are seasonal and within walking distance of their kitchen. The passion, honesty and simplicity of true Italian cuisine is what excites me.

Food doesn't have to be "fancy" to be great. The greatest food in the world is honest, simple, fresh and prepared with care. Anybody who has experienced the simplicity of fresh pasta with butter, sage and a little Parmigiano-Reggiano gets it. Anybody who has experienced a juicy, ripe tomato picked minutes earlier from their own garden, torn basil, good olive oil, homemade fresh buffalo mozzarella and sea salt gets it.

It's not hard to make good food.

Sorry folks, but Sandals doesn't make good food.