Our flight departed and arrived on time with little fanfare other than the two couples, one directly behind us and one directly in front of us that felt it would be really neat to bring a couple of newborns, barely out of the womb, to experience the excitement of flying in a giant pressurized tube of metal 38,000 feet above the earth.
After passing through customs, we were led to the magical Sandals Arrival Lounge. Considering Sandal's claim of "Luxury Included", how were we luxuriously greeted? A Sandals rep with a clipboard, standing inches from an airport employee, who checked our names off a list and made it very clear that said Jamaican airport employee DID NOT WORK FOR SANDALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Translation: Tip this guy
Let me say I have no problem tipping people who attend to my needs. In fact, my fiancee often accuses me of overtipping. My problem with Sandals' setup is the the unprofessional and tacky manner in which guests are first welcomed. A classier way to handle this would have been for clipboard girl to tactfully take the arriving passengers aside and say "while your luxury included Sandals vacation requires no gratuities, the gentleman carrying your bags to the bus is an airport employee. If you are happy with his performance while rolling your bags a few feet to the parking lot, please do not hesitate to bestow upon him a small gratuity".
After thirty minutes eating diced, grey mystery meat sandwiches and slugging Red Stripe beer in the luxury-included Sandals arrival lounge, we were informed our bus was ready. Our NON-SANDALS EMPLOYEE escorted our bags out the airport doors while asking us if we'd like to buy some pot.
A second NON-SANDALS EMPLOYEE took over the difficult task of rolling our two luggage bags on a cart and kindly offered to sell us his pot. His pot was probably much better than the first NON-SANDALS EMPLOYEE I tipped to roll my bags 14 feet.
We were walked to the bus area and made sure our bags were loaded while we waited for more people to arrive. While I was having a cigarette, our very own bus driver asked me if I wanted to buy some pot. Evidently, everyone in Jamaica sells pot when they're not busy not doing their day job.
After waiting 45 minutes in the bus, we were told we had to get off the bus and change to a different bus. We all exited, grabbed our suitcases and followed the person that most appeared to be in charge to yet another bus, where we went through the same routine all over again.
As other reviewers have wondered, why is Sandals so anxious to rush tired travelers out of their much-touted arrival lounge, only to have them sweat outside while breathing in exhaust fumes and waiting almost and hour for other guests to arrive? Besides the comfort issue, wouldn't it actually be logistically simpler to have all your guests in one place, close to clipboard girl?
The second bus was smaller and older, but at this point, I would have jumped on some guy's bicycle handlebars just to get to the damn resort. After all, there was unlimited premium booze and unfettered luxury just waiting for me to take advantage of.
After some more waiting, we were off.
Here's what you'll see during the 1 1/2 drive to the resort:
1. Beautiful mountains on the right
2. Beautiful ocean on the left
3. Poverty everywhere in between
4. Your life flash before your eyes, as Jamaican drivers enjoy dangerous passing maneuvers, even on curves
Halfway through the drive, we stopped at a bombed-out looking building that housed several gift shops and a bar. Two people tried to sell me pot as I ordered a beer.
We dropped a few passengers off at Sandals Dunn's River Villagio and approximately 20 minutes later, arrived at Sandals Grande Ocho Rios.
As we had a Concierge Level room, we were quickly whisked to the concierge area, greeted with towels and champagne and after a brief orientation, whisked off to our room by a jitney driver.
Those who didn't have concierge level rooms sat on couches in front of the main reception desk and were given a group orientation/check-in. I've seen some reviews that noted the general check-in area is not air conditioned and the concierge office is. This is true. I suppose if you are visiting in summer, it could get quite warm in the open-air Manor building. However, I wouldn't pay the extra $800 or so just to have air conditioned check in with champagne. And that's all your going to get for the extra $800. You're not going to get premium spirits in your room like Sandals promises. And your concierge is basically useless.
TIP: Save your money on the room upgrade and eat dinner outside the resort every night. At least the food will be fresh and authentically Jamaican, not Sandals' generic, safe and tasteless interpretation of what they think their guests will accept as Jamaican cuisine.