Breakfast

My fiancée and I don't require fancy, exquisitely prepared breakfasts. In fact, I don't even eat breakfast at home. When I'm away, I prefer a buffet style setting, so I can gorge myself on all the things I rarely eat at home, usually involving copious amounts of pork.

We ate breakfast every morning at the Manor House buffet. Items included fresh fruits, smoked marlin (every day) and salmon (only two mornings, unfortunately), a variety of cheeses, bagels, muffins and bread, cold cereal, made to order eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, breakfast potatoes, pancakes and/or french toast and two "authentic" Jamaican breakfast items such as baked beans and some greens I never heard of.

All the food was just fine with me. Nothing was "gourmet", but I can't complain about a single item as being terrible. Seating was instant every day and we never had to wait.

After 20 or 30 minutes, we were off to the beach, our bellies full.

I've read many online reviews that complained of long waits to get coffee or tea. Many said their beverages arrived after they had finished their meal. This did happen to us a few mornings, but not every one.

Lunch

On our first day, I expected to eat lunch at the Barefoot Bistro, a small grill literally steps from the beach area we spent our days. Unfortunately, and without reason, it was closed. As to why any restaurant would be closed days before Christmas, during peak season, is a mystery to me.

We were informed that the next closest Bistro was the "Sand Trap", but unfortunately, it wasn't listed on the little map that Sandals provided in our room.

After asking three people, we eventually found the Sand Trap.

All the Bistros serve hamburgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese, wraps, sandwiches, nachos and popcorn. Nothing fancy, but that was OK with me, as I didn't expect or need fancy food for lunch while I lounge on the beach.

I'm a big burger fan and if you are too, skip the Bistro burgers. They're seasoned with some odd Caribbean seasoning, which I would have preferred as an option, rather than the default flavor profile. They were small, cheap quality, frozen burgers and grilled so long that they literally became crunchy. The hot dogs were OK. The grilled cheese was three slices of bread with two slices of cheese and it was literally grilled, not buttered and cooked in a skillet. As a result, they were dry and mostly bread.

Perhaps the best food experience was at the Riviera Buffet. They had 5-6 hot dishes that changed daily, including a fish dish (the only restaurant in the entire resort that didn't overcook fish), a pasta dish, turkey cutlets in basil/cream sauce, various types of chicken and various veggies.

There were other stations and on one day, they had tacos, which were decent. On another day, they had different chicken and beef on a stick dishes, which I enjoyed. There were many salad and cold items and on a few occasions, a pasta station. There were some unexceptional desserts and ice cream as well. The only item that I stayed away from were the cold cuts. They were grey and unidentifiable, identical to those served at the Sandals arrival lounge at the airport.

Ironically, if this restaurant were open for dinner and had similar items on the buffet, we would have eaten here every night. At least the food would have been edible and we wouldn't have been frustrated by the pathetic entree portions. Are you listening incompetent Sandals' management?

We took a trip to Sandals Dunns River Villagio one day to compare it to our resort. As the Grande is huge, Dunns River, while still a large resort, seemed small in comparison. It had more of a traditional layout, with most all the rooms very close to the beach.

After five days of horrible food, we were excited when we read on page 115 of Sandals Catalog that Pizzeria del Campo at Dunns River served "wood-fired" pizza. As they were getting the grill going, I noticed it was actually a gas grill with no wood to be found. Just another Sandals lie, but the pizza was passable. We also nibbled on the buffet in one of the other restaurants. The quality of the food was the same as the Grande, with better dessert selections.