On Page 56 of Sandals promotional catalog, we are presented a beautiful picture illustrating the caliber of cuisine we should expect while vacationing at Sandals:
Looks very nice, eh? Look at that honkin' big lobster tail and nice size portion of lasagna!
On page 42, we are presented with a sample menu, which, prior to booking our vacation, I presumed that, while not the exact dishes, they were at least representative of the quality of food included in my "Luxury Included" vacation. Crab cakes, baked shrimp and spiny lobster, jumbo prawns, beef tenderloin, rack of lamb and duck breast.... yum!!! At $600-$800 a day, this is precisely the level of luxury, quality and attention to detail I expected:
On page 43 of Sandals' catalog, we were assured that we would find "restaurants that capture both the ambience and flavors of the world's great cultures. Internationally trained chefs have come to us from the finest restaurants around the globe, using their renowned talents and the freshest local ingredients to prepare dishes that delight the eye and satisfy your soul".
And now, the dish that was prepared by an internationally trained chef to please our eyes and satisfy our soul at Arizona's, described in Sandals promotional catalog on page 103 as a restaurant serving "western-style grilled favorites with an ocean panoramic view":
Drum roll please..............
Ta Da!!!!
Can you guess what this is? No? I can't blame you. We sat in stunned silence when our waiter placed it on our table, waiting for the hidden cameras to reveal themselves for some Candid Camera-type reality show. This picture is completely undoctored, snapped just seconds before my fiancée took her first (and last) bite.
Still can't figure out what it is?
Why, it's fajitas silly! Can't you tell? Oh, you thought fajitas were supposed to be grilled, sliced chicken breast on top of sizzling onions and peppers? Well, my fiancée thought that too when she ordered it. Instead, it looked and tasted like overcooked Tyson frozen breaded chicken breasts, except not as good.
Putting aside all Sandals' bogus claims of exquisite food prepared by international chefs from the finest restaurants, how could even the greasiest truck stop cook allow this "meal" to leave the kitchen? And this from a resort charging $600-$800 per day with promises of "exquisite restaurants"!
According to the menu, Arizona's "featured" Chef is a gentleman named Delroy Dennis. I Googled Mr. Dennis and found nothing on him. Zilch. Zero. If Mr. Dennis were an "internationally trained chef from one of the finest restaurants in the world", one would think he would have at least one, singular reference in cyberspace.
All I can say is, Mr. Dennis, whoever you are and if you really exist, shame on you! And shame on Sandals for allowing that poor excuse for food to ever leave the kitchen.
Preparing fajitas doesn't have a difficulty level of say, making perfect risotto. Yet Sandals' restaurant staff found a way to blow it. Considering Sandals' "bistros" couldn't grill a hamburger without transforming it into such a burnt, shriveled mass that it crunched when eaten, I shouldn't be surprised that fajitas require a level of culinary skill sadly lacking at the Grande Ocho Rios.
And how was my meal at Arizona's, you ask?
By the time we were seated, I was so famished, my belly was swollen and flies were circling my head. We waited 45 minutes to be seated at Arizona while they bussed six empty tables and it took another 45 to be served our "food". So, I ordered two entrees at Arizona this evening, the Tequila Lime Chicken and the BBQ Sirloin Steak.
My Tequila Lime Chicken was decent. Unfortunately, it would be the sole instance of properly cooked chicken throughout my entire vacation. The Sirloin Steak was seasoned nicely, but the meat was a tough, chewy combination of gristle and connective tissue.
At Arizona's, I took Sandals literally when they promised that all entrees were served with "baked potatoes with all the trimmings and corn on the cob".
I assumed I would be served a baked potato (yes, a whole one), with some type of topping and a corn on the cob (yes, a whole one). Wait, not so fast.....
What I got, instead, was yet another insult by Sandals.
If this food mishap was a single, isolated incident, I'd chalk it up to the kitchen having a bad night and wouldn't be spending my spare time making this web page. Unfortunately, it was only the beginning.
For some reason unknown to me, the know-it-alls on Tripadvisor, or the paid shills who place these phony postings defend the food at SGOR by making ridiculous statements like:
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Hey, you're on vacation. Why get stressed about the fact that there's only two slices of potato? |
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Yes, the portions are small, but you can always order more |
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Did you really expect food like Sandals advertises in their photos? |
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All the food was delicious. Those who complain are just being fussy |
Please allow me to answer these idiotic statements one by one:
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Yes, I am on vacation. That doesn't mean I like to be lied to. If you're going to put corn on the cob on the menu, put a damn COB of corn, at least a small one on the damn plate, not two pathetic slices. |
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Sure, I could place a second order for more food. But why should I have to? Considering it takes 45 minutes to get food, by the time my second round of food arrives, it will be the late hour of 9:00 and the restaurant will be closed. |
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Yes, I expected the food to resemble what Sandals advertised. Why? Because Sandal's entire corporate image is based on luxury. Their motto is "The Luxury Included Vacation". If you're going to base your entire corporate image around luxury, you better deliver luxury. Day's Inn's corporate image is value and inexpensive, basic accommodations. So, when I plunk down $99 a night, I don't expect luxurious rooms or crab legs served at their Continental Breakfast. But for $600-$800 a day at a resort that promises luxury and world class cuisine, I expect fresh food, served warm, with quality ingredients and prepared by kitchen staff that is trained in the culinary arts. |
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No, the food was not delicious. It was poor to mediocre at best. Reviewers who say the food was great either work for Sandals, financially benefit from steering people to stay at Sandals or they have never ventured out of the mall food court. |